So often when I work with clients in recovery they doubt their self-worth. Feelings of guilty and failure as a human being take up a lot of space in their thoughts. Self acceptance is difficult and if you can’t accept who you are and what you’ve done how can you expect someone else to. I’ve developed a 3 part EFT Script for self acceptance and self worth. I believe tapping is an effective tool for change and letting go of the past.
Tapping incorporates many therapeutic tools in a simple self help practice. While you tap, you focus on the language (Cognitive Therapy), you are in touch with the feelings and sensations in your body (mindfulness) and tapping has been shown to lower stress levels in the body (relaxation techniques).
If you aren’t familiar with tapping you can read my post on EFT which shows you the points, or you can watch this video on The Tapping Solution. Click here.
Self Love Script
Tapping while using the following script will help to enhance feelings of self acceptance and self-worth. I encourage you to do it daily and record changes that you notice in your thoughts and behaviors to recognize that change is happening.
Start by taking a few deep breaths, get silent and bring to mind that feeling of unworthiness, feeling like you don’t deserve to be accepted because of the things you’ve done. Identify any emotions and sensations in your body and rate your level of distress on a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest level of distress. I know it is uncomfortable but we focus on the negative to clear it out.
Start with the Karate Chop Point and then just move through the points as you read each line or when it feels right to move to the next point;
KC: Even though I feel guilty about the things I’ve done and worry about what others think of me I am open to accepting myself completely
KC: Even though I often feel like I am not good enough I am open to becoming more accepting of myself
KC: Even though I often over analyze everything I have done, get down on myself, and feel less than, I am open to letting go of all this self judgment and criticism and learn to love and accept myself completely.
I am sure others are angry with me, I’m angry with me
I know others are judging me because I am judging me
I feel like others are expecting me to fail
I don’t think I am good enough why should others?
I feel undeserving of good things
I’ve done too many bad things to be forgiven
It’s better to be alone than deal with the judgment of others
I worry about what others think of me
I worry that others won’t accept me as I am
I spend so much time in my head anticipating the worst case scenario
I feel like others are judging me all the time
I often think the worst about myself
I’m not good enough
I’m not lovable
I’m flawed
I’ve made too many mistakes to be okay
Why should I expect others to think differently than I do
All this worry and fear
All of this self-criticism and judgment
I feel like I’m not good enough
I’m not sure I deserve happiness
I don’t know if I can forgive myself
I feel really down on myself most of the time
I feel like a failure
So much of the time I worry what others are thinking
I feel like everyone is watching and waiting for me to fail
I wonder if I will be able to let some of these thoughts and feelings go
I worry that I will never feel good enough
I wonder if I can ever accept that I made mistakes but that doesn’t make me a mistake
I am afraid I can never love and accept myself
I wonder if I could feel more loving towards myself.
Repeat the statements if you are still feeling emotional, if it feels a little lighter check in and score your level of distress again.
If you are still at a 5 or above, (feeling like the above statements are at least 50% true, that you are not worthy), go back and tap through the statements again. When you are at a 4 or less to move on to the next section where you will start to give yourself permission to feel differently.
Give Yourself Permission – Open To Change
Starting at the Eyebrow point and then moving through the points with each line:
I am open to the possibility of relaxing around some of these thoughts and letting them go
Would it be okay for me to just let go of some of the worry and fear?
Even if others are judging me, it wouldn’t be the end of the world
I’m open to the possibility that I can feel more relaxed with who I am
I am open to the possibility that I am not a mistake because I made some mistakes
I am open to the possibility that I can accept myself
I am open to the possibility that others can accept me as I am
I am open to the possibility that I am good enough
It’s okay for me to be human and make mistakes, I release the need to always look good
I give myself permission to let go of some of this worry about what others think
I am open to the possibility that it isn’t as bad as I think it is
I give myself permission to believe that I am likable
I am open to the possibility that others won’t judge me as badly as I fear
I give myself permission to believe I am enough
I am open to the possibility that I can be myself and that’s enough
I give myself permission to like myself
I give myself permission to believe I am lovable
I give myself permission to forgive myself
I allow myself to accept others as they are
I give myself permission to not worry about what others think.
I am open to the possibility that I am good enough
I give myself permission to be kinder to myself
I am open to the possibility that I can stop seeing the worst in me and focus on the good that is
I am open to embracing and accepting all of me
I give myself permission to embrace, accept, and love all of me.
Take a deep breath and check in, How does that feel. Are you in a place of openness and willingness to accept yourself as you are and believe that others could as well. If so move onto the final set of tapping sentences, if not go through the above phrases at least one more time.
Choosing You – Choosing Self-Acceptance
Starting at the eyebrow point again and moving through the points;
I Choose to allow myself to see me through a new lens
I choose to know that I am good enough
I choose to know that I am okay even if someone doesn’t like me
I choose to believe that I am lovable
I choose to love myself fully and unconditionally
I choose to release the negative self talk and criticism, I replace it with kind and patient self talk.
I choose to see myself through a lens of self compassion
I choose to love myself fully
I choose to believe that I am good enough
I choose to release the worry about what others think
I choose to be okay with being human and imperfect
I choose to believe that others will see me as good enough
I choose to believe that I add value just by being myself
I choose to believe in myself
I choose to believe I am perfectly imperfect, just the way I am
I choose to let go of self criticism and focus on what is good about myself
I choose to let go of past beliefs that no longer serve me
I choose to believe that as I accept myself others will be accepting of me as well
I choose to focus on loving myself and letting go of what others think
I choose to focus on what is right about the situation and let go of the fear
I choose to accept myself completely, the good and the not so good
I choose to be open to loving myself
I choose to embrace all of me just as I am.
Does it feel possible? Do the above statements feel good or is your head telling you that’s impossible? If it isn’t feeling like you will ever get there, that’s okay. You planted a seed. You will need to go back to the first set again and maybe focus on just one or two of the statements that are really charged for you. In other words you might have to chunk it down and clear each of the beliefs a little more in order for it to really start to take hold that you are enough.
I would encourage you to go through these 3 rounds for at least the next 10 days (the next 30 would be even better). Have some patience with yourself, you didn’t develop these feelings overnight and some of them are pretty strong, so stick with it and give it a chance.
Additional Ways To Work With These Thoughts
I would encourage you to print this out and change the language, add some phrases that really capture your thoughts, cross out the statements that don’t fit with your situation. I created this from some of the statements I have heard from clients and while some may resonate with you, others maybe not. The best way to make this effective is to use words and statements that really have meaning for you while focusing on the feelings that are coming up.
Let me know if you have any thoughts, and would love to hear your success.
Peace and Joy on your Recovery Path!