Welcome to Recovery Path Support. I would like to introduce myself to you and let you know why I created this site. My name is Mj and I have been playing with recovery for years. I have abused alcohol and drugs, I have been addicted to sugar, caffeine, information, food, and the one that really took me down – gambling. I was living in my own hell for about 25 years before I finally decided Enough!
That isn’t entirely true, I said Enough! probably several hundred times before it stuck. My path to recovery was quite rocky, had lots of obstacles, and took a lot of detours and retracing my steps to finally move into the clear.
A Bit of My Story
I live in Las Vegas and had been here for at least 10 years before gambling became a problem in my life. Initially I only gambled for fun when family came into town to visit. Then I had a significant change in my life and I started gambling compulsively as an escape or as a way to cope. Actually it was more a way to avoid thinking about what my life was like. Gambling gave me enough of a reprieve that I didn’t have to deal with the problems in my world.
Gambling became the perfect escape, until it became a bigger problem than the one I was trying to get away from. I was able to get lost in the dark casino, the lights, the anonymity, the complete focus on my gambling, it helped me block out the world. It not only was an escape while I was in action, but it consumed most of my time when I wasn’t gambling. Thinking about going, dreaming of the money I would win, worrying about the money I lost. Then the lies started, and I became someone I no longer knew. My story is the same as many that get caught up in a compulsive behavior, my life became indescribably stressful.
I waited too long to leave the situation that was creating my need to escape and by then I feel like the gambling became hardwired into my brain. It became even more difficult to say no to the urges and even if I woke up in the morning clear that today I was not going to gamble, I would often end up in front of a video poker machine. I tried a lot of different programs, I spent years in Gamblers Anonymous, I went through several Intensive Outpatient Programs, and they worked for awhile, but ultimately I would slip and soon get back into the full swing of the behavior.
A New Beginning
I feel like the thing that finally saved me was learning to accept myself and all of my feelings. To begin to let go of the past, forgive myself and others. Beginning to focus on what I did want instead of all the stuff I perceived as a problem. I took a lot of different programs where I started to look at what I wanted for myself, what I was really capable of, learning to choose me and live my life in alignment with my values and my vision. I chose me and that has helped me maintain abstinence. That is what I want to share with this site. There is life beyond addiction. Your recovery path, if you take the time to find you and what has meaning to you, can change your life forever..
The Good That Came From My Addiction
My journey into healing and sobriety moved me in a direction I never imagined. As a result of going to the depths of despair and coming back up for air, I decided I wanted to help others find a better path.
I went back to school in my 40’s and am now a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor. I have several Life Coaching Certifications and I am certified in several alternative therapies like Reiki and Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). On this site I will share some of the traditional strategies for maintaining abstinence as well as some alternative techniques to help you explore values, passions, those things that have meaning for you.
The Reason For This Site
There are several reasons why I am creating this website. I had a very hard time finding my tribe in recovery. Like many addicts I am a very private person, and a bit of a loner. There in lies a lot of the reason for my addictions, I try to do everything myself. I found it difficult to ask for help and to rely on others. That said, I know how difficult it can be to travel this path alone. This site will be a place to get ideas and support. I hope to create an interactive site where people will share their experiences with the tools I present, and support one another.
Some of the things I want to address include that there is no one size fits all for the path to recovery. Also, depending on where you are in your journey your needs will be different. If you are within 3 months of sobriety your recovery needs are very different from someone who has made 4 years clean and wants to continue to just grow personally. I believe there are elements that can be helpful to all, where ever you are in recovery, but we are all still unique individuals. I intend to share tools, strategies, resources, and different approaches for different stages of change so that hopefully you will find something here that finally tips the scales for you or helps you move beyond recovery.
Finally the reason I wanted to create this website is so that you can move onto another path at some point. I believe there is life beyond recovery, a place where I really differ from the 12 step programs I attended. I am not bashing them, they work very well for many people and I attended GA for years and it helped. However, it wasn’t something I wanted to commit my life to. I couldn’t in good faith continue to say I was a compulsive gambler, it no longer felt in alignment with what I wanted for myself. It felt like I was reinforcing a part of my life I was trying to put in the past at the same time.
So welcome, please be patient as I continue to add more information and ideas. Let me know if you have any questions or something that you would like for me to add to the site.